PS I Love You Aria
by overload-j
Summary: Story of P.S I Love You mixed with PLL. Aria is dealing with the loss of her husband whilst receiving unexpected surprises.
1. Chapter 1

**Rewritten! Very similar with just a few tweaks made to Ezra's personality. **

**So this is PLL with the story of P.S. I Love You combined. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! All rights go to the writers of Pretty Little Liars and P.S I Love You and ABC Family. **

"The boys of the NYPD choir

Were singing "Galway Bay"

And the bells were ringing out

For Christmas day"

"Babe, can you keep it down? I can't concentrate!" I yelled from our small bedroom.

"Oh come on hun! It's Christmas. Christmas isn't Christmas without a bit of Pogue." he replied back in his smooth deep tone that never failed to make my heart flutter, whilst peeking his head in the door frame.

"I know, but if you want an apartment to live in over the holidays, I need to finish this book." I replied back in a somewhat frustrated manner. I loved him so much, but sometimes his half glass full outlook on life could be a pain in the ass. He always believed that some tiny leprechaun would knock at the door someday and hand him his pot of gold. I on the other hand had the financial brain. Things were below broke at that the moment, with our only source of income being my waitressing job at a coffee shop on 42nd, and his small salary from the local highschool. I was a writer with a degree in literature, but due to the financial down turn placed upon an already struggling economy, finding a good job was near to impossible.

So for now, I began writing a book, in the hope of it succeeding someday. The story was about a couple, thrown into the many obstacles of life, only to come out ontop, because of their unbreakable bond and love for eachother. In retrospect, the story was about my husband and I. Ezra and I met when I was nineteen, with him being in his early twenties. At first, my mother had a strong disliking towards him, but as time progressed she saw in him what I was from the moment I laid eyes on him, a sweet, loving, passionate man, who had her daughters best interests at heart.

He was the most wonderful man on the planet, even with his cool, take life as it comes attitude. I loved him with all my heart and soul, so no matter if we lived in a cardboard box under the Hudson bridge, my life would be perfect, because he was pushing through it with me.

"Stop worrying Aria sweetheart. I promise you that everything will work it's self out. There's a promotion available at the school and the word in the teachers lounge is that a very cool english teacher's got a top chance." he said whilst coming up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin untop of my head. I let of a small chuckle before entwining his hand in mine and planting a small kiss upon his.

"I love you so much babe. Promise me you'll never leave me." I said with so much fear that I may have to face life without him some day. The thought of that terrified me more than life its self.

"I promise baby. We'll always be together, as long as the big guy allows," and with that, he turned my chair around to face him, took hold of my face in his strong yet gentle hands and kissed me. Kissed me with so much passion that the tiny room around us disappeared, and we were all alone. He lifted me up off my desk chair and I tightened my legs around his waist. He sat down on our bed and laid back, taking me with him.

For the rest of that night, I completely forgot that we were broke. It didn't matter that the landlord was close to evicting us, or that the heating would be cut off soon. No. Ezra managed to completely rid my mind of all it's worries and remind me of one thing.

Nothing else mattered in this world, as long as we had eachother.

As I lay cuddled under the duvet on the queen sized bed, I tried to imagine his arms around me. Tried to remember the feeling of his musky breath against my neck, and the sound of his sweet voice singing me to sleep. Tears began cascading down my face when I realised that those things would never come back. I would never get to see his beautiful face again and I would never feel his strong arms, wrapped around my body as I drifted of to sleep.

I pressed play once again, causing a familiar sound to fill the room. It was a home video that I had recorded last Christmas. In it, Ezra was cooking at stove, whilst bellowing the Fairytale of New York at the top of his lungs. He looked so happy and healthy, yet who knew that within nine months, he would be gone, never to step foot on earth's soil again.

Watching this video over and over again, was the only way I got a chance to hear his voice one last time. I grabbed the book sitting beside me and clutched it tight into my chest. Inside, was the poem Ezra had gotten published three years ago. It was called B-26. The poem entailed a secret meaning, that only one person on this planet would know of. Me. Ezra wrote this poem for me on our first anniversary of marriage. He just so happened to be lucky enough to have it published. I opened the book to the familiar page and brushed my fingertips over the font whilst reading it for the billionth time.

'It's a number.

It's a song.

It's a girl.

Smooth.

Pearl joy packed.

Gold falafel,

As through ice.

It's four-thirty.

Morning with

Phone calls.

It's deaf mute.

It's cheap.

A foreign car.

Maybe bingo.

Lucky night?

Something says

It smells bad.'

I brought the book up to my face and planted a gentle kiss upon it. This poem held every monumental memory we shared together. It was the last foot he had on earth but just one that he had in my heart.

It had been one week since Ezra's farewell celebration. He'd kill me if I called it a funeral. Friends, family and I gathered at his favourite bar down in Brooklyn. It was a cheery night considering the circumstances for most, but for me, not all the music and scotch on this planet could numb out the pain that was inflicted upon me. Ezra. My Ezra, was gone. Gone and never coming back. For the past week, I have locked myself up in our tiny apartment. The apartment that had heard me complain to him about it's tiny size, now seemed so big and empty. I had abandoned all my responsibilities, including the housework and showering. The dishes lay by the sink and everything was everywhere. The smell coming from the fridge was becoming unbearable, including the smell given out by myself.

I didn't care. Nothing else mattered if I didn't have Ezra. God granted to people who deserve it, but he also takes away. What did I ever do to deserve this this? I'd always tried to do the right thing, but it obviously didn't matter.

Ezra was gone and he was never coming back.

**A/N so guys, tell me what you think. As usual, all comments are taken on board, especially the criticism. Review please, let me know if I should continue! Xoxo New chapter very soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

Knock knock... Knock knock!

"ARIA! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" yelled a very frustrated Hanna Marin. "Get your ass out of bed! You know this isn't what Ezra would have wanted." she said in a more sympathetic tone.

It doesn't matter if this isn't what Ezra would have wanted. I wanted him to stay here with me until the day we both left this world together, like that couple in The Notebook, but he didn't fulfil my request, so why should I fulfil his? No Aria. You can't resent him. It wasn't his choice to stay or go. His life was taken without a second thought. I hadn't been to church in years, not because I didn't believe in God, or because I resented him, but I sure as he'll do now. Why did he hate me so much as to take the one thing that mattered more than anything on this planet away from me. What did I ever do?

My wallowing in self pitty was interrupted by the rustling of a key in the lock. Click... Click. Within a few seconds, a glamorous young blonde appeared in the doorway of our... I mean _my _bedroom, claddened with numerous numbers of shopping bags.

She took one look at my haggered, worn out exterior and sighed. She placed the bags on the floor and removed her coat from Donna Karan's Winter line, placing it on the chair adjacent to the bed before pulling back the duvet and cuddling into the large bed along with me. She tucked her arm under her head and used her free hand to rub my arm in a soothing motion as tear began falling down my cheek.

"It's okay sweetie. Let it all out." she said in a saddened tone.

I broke down completely, and threw my arms around her and sobbed uncontrollably. "I... He... Why?" I cried out, extending the 'y' unintentionally as another wave of sobs hit me.

"Shhhhh." she said, whilst hugging my body closer to hers. After a few minutes, my sobbing subsided, and I was able to lift my heavy head to meet my bestfriend's worried gaze. "I know it's a stupid question, but are you okay?" she asked. I didn't answer verbally, but buried my head in her shoulder and shook my head.

"Babe, you know Ezra would kill you if he saw you like... ARIA!" exclaimed the pretty blonde suddenly.

"What?" I asked as I followed her gaze to the dozens of empty tubs of Cooke Dough ice-cream. She quickly jumped out of the bed and bolted over the mini mountain of garbage.

"This isn't even fat free!" she said whilst giving me a condescending look. I stared back at her with an astonished expression.

"SERIOUSLY HAN? Well excuse me if I don't care if my ass gets fat. I just lost my husband!" I exclaimed in frustration, although I was slightly amused at her typical Hanna Fat Ban.

"That's it." she said whilst pulling back the bed covers and dragging my feet to the cold floorboards. "Tough love is in desperate order. You're gonna get in the shower, put make-up on that beautiful face of yours and change into one of the many beautiful dressed I bought you." she said whilst pointing to the bags in the corner of the small room.

"Why? I have no reason to get dressed up." I said before attempting to climb back under the covers.

"Oh no you don't Aria. I'm not about to let you stay in on your twenty-third birthday!" she said, pulling the covers off the bed completely and tossing them on the floor. Birthday? Shit, I completely forgot. "Come on!" she yelled whilst stifling a laugh.

I gave her a weak smile, before being dragged off to the bathroom by the arm. I took off Ezra's old Hollis tee-shirt and carefully placed it on the counter top. I stripped off the remainder of smelly clothing, and stepped into a warm shower. The warm water felt like heaven's hands against my skin. It had been weeks since I'd taken a shower, and I'm sure that it'd gotten to a point were the sewage rats found me repellent. I began lathering my body in shower gel, until I realised that it was the same lotion that Ezra used. His familiar scent filled my nostrils and I began tearing up again. I let myself cry for a few seconds, before kicking myself and staying strong. Hanna's right, Ezra would hate to see me like this. My mind wandered back to a few years ago when my father died.

_"Sweetie, please don't cry. I hate to see you like this." his soothing voice said whilst rubbing his hand up and down my back as I cuddled into him on our small, brown leather couch. "Your dad's in a better place now. He'll be up there teaching the big guy a thing or two about English. He's no longer in pain, but he will be of he sees his little girl like this." _

_"I know... It's just..." I couldn't finish my sentence before another sob attack took place. _

_"Hey, look at me." he said whilst gently tilting my head to meet his loving gaze. "I love you, and as long as we're together, you'll get through this. I know my little Aria is strong, and she's able to overcome anything the world throws at her. Remember that I'll always love you and be with you to help you, even if I'm not there geographically. That goes for your Dad too." and with those soothing words, he leant down and captured my lips in a sweet, gentle yet meaningful kiss. I knew from that moment on, as long as I had Ezra in my heart, everything would be okay. _

My mind came back into reality, with a newer, positive outlook. Ezra is always with me. Whether it's in the body wash I have on, our the necklace he gave me on our first date, he's always going to be here, to help me through the days.

With my slightly happier heart, I emerged from the shower and wrapped a towel around me. It felt so good to be clean and fresh again. I wiped the steam away from the mirror and surveyed my appearance. The bags under my eyes were bigger than Hanna's after pay-day, and my fair skin had blemishes and looked pasty. The women staring back at me was not Aria Montgomery, the woman Ezra Fitz fell in love with. I needed to change that. I detangled my long, brown locks and began to blow dry them. When my hair was dry, I took the wet towel off my now dry body and threw it in the hamper. I then pulled on my white, fluffy bath robe and began to put on some make-up. The concealer was put on the much needed areas, followed by some mineral foundation. I then began to fix up my large, brown eyes. Eyes that Ezra used to gaze into lovingly, whilst showing off his boyish smile. I laughed lightly at my memory and heard his voice in my head.

"See, that's the Aria I love." Oh god. I was going insane now too.

I continued to do my make-up, until the old Aria began to shine though. I smiled at myself in the mirror and breathed deeply. "Stay strong. For Ezra." I said to myself.

I walked out of the bathroom to see three young women running around the place, throwing away rubbish and filling the dishwasher. They halted in their motions as they saw me enter the room. Spencer, my wise, motherly bestfriend gave me a small smile, while Emily, my sporty, shy friend gazed at me, not knowing to hug me or cry for me.

"Guys, you really don't have to do this." I said, whilst taking in the astonishingly clean surroundings.

"Please Aria, it's the least we can do after..." said Emily before she was abruptly cut off by Hanna.

"Ah ah, no more pity. Ezra would want Aria to be happy and laughing, not drowning in the words of sympathy from others"

"Jeez Han, when did you become the intelligent one?" asked a chuckling Spencer.

"Don't set your standards so high. I'm good with emotions but I still suck at algebra. Anyway, Aria I left some dresses on your bed for you to choose from. Hurry! I want to be out of here by ten." Hanna ordered before pushing me into the bedroom.

I looked at the bed to see five beautiful dresses. All of them were stunning and very me. Hanna always had a good eye, she could write out an itemised list of all three of our closet contents. I surveyed each one carefully, before deciding on the deep purple one. It came down to just above the knee, and accentuated my petite waist. Thank God. The Cookie Dough didn't seem to do too much damage. I put on the dress and finished off the outfit with some chunky jewellery and strappy black heels. I curled my hair slightly and finished it off with some hairspray. I grabbed a small black clutch and sprayed a tiny ounce of Ezra's old cologne on my wrist. Just for a little reminder. I took one last look at my appearance and left the bedroom. When I entered the kitchen and living area, I found the thee women gathered around the dining table. I walked over to them, and saw a beautifully wrapped box sitting upon the table.

"What's this?" I asked, assuming it was from the girls.

"It just came a few minutes ago." said Emily in an oblivious tone. I reached for the box and undid the neat bow. I then opened up the lid to find a beautiful arrangement of flowers. I grabbed the envelope attached to the lid, tore it open eagerly and began to read the very familiar handwriting.

_"Dear my beautiful Aria. I'm sorry that I'm unable to be there with you as you celebrate your twenty third birthday, but if I come to find that you wallowing away in sadness, I'll come down as kick your ass. I wont really. You'd probably kick mine first for confusing you like this, so I'll explain. I couldn't bare the thought of leaving you so quickly, so I came up with a little plan. Over the next few weeks, a series of letters will be arriving, in a few imaginative ways, and before you even do, don't try and figure out how they'll come, you'll ruin the surprise of it all. Okay, so tonight, I want you to go out with the girls, I'm assuming they're already there. Go out and have fun. Have a scotch for me too. There probably won't be any up in the big guy's house, so I need you to drink enough for both of us, understand? Good. I miss you baby, and I'm sorry I had to leave so soon, but remember, I'm always with you, where ever you. That includes another man's bed. Yup. I'm always watching. Happy birthday babe. Oh and P.S I love you Aria. _

By the time I finished the letter, I was crying and laughing at the same time. I turned around to see the girls huddled around my shoulder, reading it too. "He always was a smart ass." said a very smiley Spencer.

"I can't believe it." I said in an almost inaudible tone.

"Well believe it. There's a reason he was a teacher, he never misses a single detail. So come on, you heard the man. It's party time." exclaimed a very eager Hanna whilst we all laughed on.

Ezra Fitz, I never thought I could love you more than I already did, but this just proves why I gave me heart to you. I couldn't wait until the next letter, but for now, a fun night with the three most important girls in my life was in order, but Ezra would be there with me too. Forever and always.

**Hey guys, sorry for long wait. Exams exams exams. Anyways please review, you have no idea how much joy it brings me. And Aria's dress is the same one she wore when she cooked for Ezra in 1x19. x**


	3. AN

A/N Hey guys!

So yeah, I know I've been a bitch and not updated in like forever. I've only got one explanation... I AM THE LAZIEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET. Well it's better to be honest right?

Anyways, I've got a little proposition for you all. My twitter is JaneCrumlish, and I need followers, so... if I receive 10+ followers in the next, lets say 12hrs, I'll update this... AND, I'll put up the first chapter of The New Fiance sequel. Deal?

Jane xoxo


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